Its OK

Why cannot you simply
KILL me one day
That would rather be a gift
Than leaving me like
A dying entity on road astray
Writhing in pain and utter dismay

Its ok to die and never speak out
That am dying for you inside out
My every existance is pining for you
But its ok to never say it loud

Its ok to lie to the entire world
And also ok to lie between us
Its ok to tell forget the past
As its never going to last

The past has no future so
Its ok to justify every word
But if the past was not in place
Question of future would never be raised

I never had a past nor a future
But I only know
The present which is supposed to be
A present-- actually is crucifying me

I am counting every moment
Like a aghast ghost from agony
With no Past Present or Future
Getting burnt alive and nailed daily

But its ok not to confess
The feelings that is intrinsic
Which is Ripping your heart
Its ok not to bring out your bruised senses
Its ok to try look merry and laugh

Even with each other
Its ok to keep on the Act
As if acting with the entire world
Is never ever enough!!

Its ok to tell I do NOT miss you
And keep on putting the bravest smile
Even when am dying the most
Or I am the most weak and fragile

I am not missing you
Why should I do
When I do have other potions
Of allevating the pain
Why should I miss you..

Afterall it was just a momentary pass
Nothing to stay for eternity
So forget the past and behave normalcy
I wont miss you and you never miss me

Memories might fade away slowly
If at all it could be
In the silence of silhoute
Passionately searching for each other
Would stay back two burnt out souls

Voice vs Silence

Dying to talk to you
To hear your voice
As some euphoric tunes
In the world of chaotic noise

Just not happeining with me
To count every dying moment
Before I can get rid of or actually die
The vacuum inside posing high

The world around me is living though
Not that am in envy
But I missing my best freinds' voice
The silence is unbearable killing me

He talked to me
He scolded me
He gave philosophies
We used to chat aimlessly

For hours together on any topic
Just any topic under the sky
Actually it was not talking to each other
But it was sharing celebrating life

I keep on straining my ears
But remains ghostly silent the voice
And I have to drag along my caracass
A shakcled priosoner betrayed of every little choice

Die For

Yes I die for::

Your Thoughts
Yours Passions
Your Wits
Your Vissions

Your Art
Your Innovations
Your Words
Your Emotions

Your Strength
Your Will
Your Attitude
Your Zeal

Your Talents
Your Sensitivity
Your Uniquiness
Your Creativity

Your Smile
Your Looks
Your Gaze
Your Style

Your Love
Your Care
Your Softness
Your Power

Your IQ
Your Touches
Your EQ
Your Kisses

Your Proximity
Your Uniquness
Your Aroma
Your Voice

Your Acts
Your Humors
Your Rebukes
Your Gestures

Now that none of these
Are there with me
Barring old bygone memories
I know what I miss
And I know
What Life Was
And What lack of IT is

But I lose my sanity
Cant comprehend the fact
That all of those I used to adore
Are mere reflections of past

To me you were my entire world
I laughed cried LIVED and played with you
I got carried away wildly
In a storm called YOU

I used to wake up
With your softness
Surrounding me with assurance
Assurance of a Day of
Love and Thoughtful Togethernes

Even now I wake up
With your fragrance
Around me and your memories
Haunting me everywhere
But only changes is the reference

Then I used to Look Forward
For a Day of blissfull unison
Now I hate that yet another day has come
Which I have to dreafully drag
Like a haggered lifeless Phantom

*********************************
I am trying to be your strength
And not your Weakness
In each and every pace
Trying hard to keep me somewhat moving
In this useless aimless days

But If some times I fail
Just being fragile and frail
Forgive me with your kindness
If possible plant a kiss or a soft small caress

If you have a place of yours
Belonging nobody barring you
I would yearn to be with you
And let me feel to be yours

In any corner of this world
Where I can rest in peace
Please do call me anywhere anytime
Even if its a momentary bliss

I would long to die in your arms
Before I actually die
I long to be carried by you
And on your lap I snugly lie

Even if thats for a just a day
In my entire living slot
I would happy to exchange my life
With that without a second thought

Off Late Part 2

Off Late Am finding Useless
And which will never ever me mine
Not Any more Not in this lifetime..

My smile even for while
That used to li tup some one face
Who used to walk a mile
To see it atleast once a fresh

My lips which some one
Always filled with honey
Took all the pains one by one
Which can never be bought by money

My Words as he said
Was never tired of listening
May be most were menaingless
But he who kept on caring

My Le femme which I always
Tried hard to keep under shield
But someone adored them so very much
As farmer treats his own very field

My all communication means
They are all tattered and out of network
Broken as my heart or fatigued of overwork
They are all Simply resting in coffins

My sensitivity which I thought
Never existed but someone dug it out
Only to kill it one more time by norms
Blatantly with a knife so stout

My ways of care which I believed
Was never ever there,
But it used to please someone beyond
Any happiness which can be sought

My unexplored heart my madness
Which I was also never aware
Only to be smoldered by Someone
And to oblivoin to disappear

My lookimg forward to
Which was always always for You
Has now become so stupid fool
I have nothing to look forward To
I will never be ever with You

Together we have lost our communication
Never knew we can speak so much via any media
Now the silence or talking which ever be
Are all like Killing without anasthesia

My Dreams which someone instilled
Very shortlived ones were they
I had never dreamt before ,had always
Been grounded and now ordered again to be

My positivity which kept on lingering
In the grotesque struggle for existance
As long as I simply survive
It will be all just respiring meaningless

My SOUL which I have gifted to someone
Rendered a useless Gift of Love
Love Are you Kidding?
Say with the world it was some passtime fun

Moments I used to count them
For being with with my soul mate
Not I have moments in countless waves
Deposited to despising fate!!!

My Life which found a meaning
With the magic of my freind
Now its only passive seconds passing
Without any start to it or any end!!!

Useless

Off late, I can feel that few things have become useless for Me, and will not return in my lifetime:
1. My Words: This used to be my best companion. Used to engage myself with my Life for Hours and days.
2. My Passion: This used to persuade my Life and sweep her off her feet. Make her suffocated, restless, powerless yet contended and happy.
3. My Emotion: This used to evolve in and around my Life.
4. My Sense of Humor: This used to bring a million dollar smile to the Lips of my Life.
5. My Creativity: This used to impress my Life, make her happy.
6. My Senses: This used to be filled up with my Life. Now they are numb.
7. My Happiness: Which I used to derive by watching my Life smiling.
8. My Heart: Which used to beat for my Life, now only pumps blood.
9. My Phone: This used to wait every moment to get the ring of my Life.

I have used them, over used them and now they are no more, all are gone forever!! But I think these are not that important for survival, are they? I’m still walking, eating, working. Isn’t it!

Bubble of Thought

Silence

Yes, You are so very right.
Yes, You have all the reason to envy me.
Envy me, because I have lost my minimum right
Minimum right to talk to the Best Friend of me.

Silence is an obligation, never a choice,
I know how much I enjoyed talking to someone.
Waited every moment to hear her voice,
And pour my heart and mind out in fun.

Now the silence looms large
The lonely heart looks for the lost companion
Not able to withstand the vacuum inside
When all the dreams and thoughts are broken.

I miss my friend,
With whom I never felt tired talking
Can’t believe that I’m in a world,
Without her, I have to keep on breathing.