Bhalobashi

Goto kal ar aj raat e tomar sathe kotha bole ami ar akbar notun kore
tomar preme porechi..khub sundar akta prem somman bhora bhalobasha eta
..tumi bujhbe naa.. Onyo matra r..
Gijgij korche bhalobasha tomar jonyo sara gaye mathay mone..

Sob kichu na holeo anek kichu nije haate sesh kore esheo abar j notun
kore prem e pora jaay ami seta jantam naa..

Jantam naa.. Nijeder proti dejection ta root cause for both of us..jar
effect te tumi rege gongone agun hoye gacho ar ami dujkhhe pathor..
Actually while we were both hating ourself for our excessive greed our
not being able to say no to each other which would actually led to
crucification our blindfolded love which led this cruelest slaugher of
ur only communication channel the way we killed our golden duck and we
were internally dying in that pain...u were angry like fire ur way and
i was sad like stone my way...
But again our core feelings were so v v similar.. To me myself n to u
urself were loathing each other...n we were fighting not able to come
clear on that..

Today was the first day that we dissected each other..u came and flat
told whre was i wrong and i also candidly expressed ur
shortcomings...n it cleared all..

At the bottom we were hating our own self..for being so
indiscreminate..n we were not able to come straight on that n were in
more pain..
Sotti to if u treat me as ur baby how cud you just leave me outside ur
protective arms outside that only place where u simply amay aagle
rakhte to fight the world alone..akbaro bhablenaa j tomake chara j ami
ajkal ar nishhash niteo parinaa..n that was the only place we
breathed...ar aktao jayga nei amader apatoto in distant timelines..
Same goes with me..i loved u so much..n i knew u cant stay without
me...u needed to see me even to get minimum grip of life tahole ki
kore aj ato dure nijer kache theke nirbasone pathiye dilam..
Jake khaiye na dile amar khabar name naa takei ami ato dure thele
dilam j she na kheye thakleo ami doure jete parbo naa..
Ar aktoo kothin hote parlam naa.. Choto khato na gulo amra kew kawke
bolte parlam naa...

J love ta amader life er sob theke boro gift setake aglate parlam naa
ar aktoo khani..jokhon sotti sotti sob kichu thikthak
egochillo...chakri bari gari porasona...sob...
Ak jhotkay nijera nijeder pa ye kurul mere beriye aslam..jate pray
hata tai duskhar hoye jay..forget abt running

Ai aki chintay dujone chotfot korchilam..ami chaichilam tumi bolo baby
sob dosh tomar n tumi chaichile amio tomay biddho kori..n like very
much like us..we were both burning inside in self criticism..

Ajker discussion tay ...ato chokh khule gache...self criticism eo j
aaram ache ..ami aage jantam naa...bhaolobashay bhore gache monta..tor
proti aro beshi upche porche bhalobasha..feeling drawn even more
physically mentally everywhich way.
Mone hochhe plz amay khub bok khub kore peta r tarpor tochnoch kore
pagoler moto ador kor!

And ys..
Sotti logic kaj kore naa...
Jokhon dekhi amar haat ta tor chul e bili katche ar duto chokh bondhyo
hoye jacchee garir dombondhyo obosthay gorome r oi gongone roddure o..

Ar jokhon dekhi with same state of mental trauma tension stress aged
looks fatigue indignity n humiliation bari fire just tor sathe 30 mins
dakha hoyeche bole akta ajana smile has lasted on my lips n my panty
is wet without even my knowing it..

I have no logic barring n undying chitchite bhalobasha..jei
bhalobaashar khesarot hoyto ei durotto..
N ami buhjte pari sotti sob chere sudhu nishhash nite geleo amar toke
chai..in this life..
Ami ma r bari te achi.. Kalke by any chance bajar gele phone koro.. Love u
only urs'

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