Janinaa

Who am I to tell you Eosin whether our relationship was love+friendship+marriage all combined which failed as a whole or bits and pieces of them which failed individually..
Or may be all of them  every second every way with the very limited resource tried to combat against all odds till the last breath..till they were mutilated with brutality..annihilated perhaps..

You negated Love You negated friendship while our conversation in the afternoon..marriage is something which we never had..by social norms though deep down at the core of our hearts we were more than being barely married..

So perhaps the only relation we had boils down to fatal attraction or even more derogatory-- lust for each other and unlawful submission to basic instincts!!! which had only and ONLY negative catastrophic impressions on our lives..

You need not explain me anything..if you are convinced so be it..But don't try to manipulate me or discuss these things with me...This time probably the only topic to which I cannot be a good listener to your philosophies!! Not me ..you need an answer!!!

I DON'T NEED A NAME FOR OUR RELATION..And I know for sure what YOU ARE TO ME
I CAN FEEL IT ONLY WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES and THE FRAGRANCE FILLS MY HEART

Neither you are the best friend nor the best lover..It was gel of both the worlds which surpassed everything..probably not always able to compliment each other..
To my mind  we never failed as Lover or as Friend..We failed as LOGICAL RATIONAL Human Beings..

Janwar k ..kano kibhabe ami janinaa..neither I would need to clarify anything to me.

Why PC no one on earth could have drawn us apart from the fatal attraction to each other till it can be actually crushed by all earthly means..and that's what it is now..All the common methods which we have overused have now been blown off and the world can get 2 see the death of 2 souls slowly and steadily roasted on bon-fire...
So none of us will die now.'coz death would have been a bliss..

Now we are out of each others' radius of control having separate trajectory of life..as you said Time -- Time will prove what is was>>A pristine pearl drop which you keep on searching your entire life with hardly any chance of getting Or only negative failures at individual levels of the relationship..
Also time will say without each other how we measure the success of life!!! Or how much we can excel in work individually atleast for me I had long lost the habbit of working in sylo..
You have better mental strength and intelligence you would be able to get over it by some means..I will take time..perhaps an entire lifetime..

No this night perhapos never have a dawn..This time out of all the past incidence for the first time I am feeling that perhaps this night will never see the dawn as this not a regular night fall but a black-box..


Jhampu r jonye bachar jonyo amake external aids like khawa dawa r help nite habe naa..
As a freind as a lover as a wife as a woman more beche thakleo the intrinsic motherhood will sustain for her...and every moment of my indignant living death will actually pray for a better life for my child..

Don't worry about my dry health ...time can take care of it..I need to give some time to it and voila..