Love You

Love You so so very much...I have loved ONLY one person in my entire life..that is YOU and none else..

I dont need data pointer to surmount my feelings for you..neither I want to give you any..How does it matter..that even if I have loved you with a white canvas of body soul and mind its actually the black spots here and there which stands prominent more and suffices of evidences of my loveless betrayal to you..

Frankly speaking I have never given you anything barring immense amount of pain...every moment every day every night..
Tui Rabindra Nath er Shyama dekhechish? watch it once..if you want to..
You have presented my entire life in a CD and I was watching that..
I had a realization last night within myself..after watching your CD
YOU ARE MY LOVE MY LIFE MY SOUL MY EVRYTHING....But I am what I am..

AND I know someday in the fear of losing you I will lose you forever like this..no not by death of any of us..but by inflicting daily dose of pains in your life..kill you like a prefessional killer..ektoo ektoo kore..bit by bit slowly and steadily..planning every step ahead..

Yes I am a KILLER.. And I AM KILLING YOU SUCKING YOUR BLOOD..
A VAMPIRE who has to get her daily share of LIFE BLOOD from her LOVE..
I need to survive so i suck your blood..Dont you understand that?

Have you seen a murderer in your life...I bet NO..
Open up one of my pics and look deep into it..

Nothing less than a brutal BRUTAS murderer's photo will spring into the screen.. like Brutas who has knifed Caesar I have I have stabbed and killed my best freind my love my life..whom I call my soulmate..



Daruun lagche.. je at last I have got the correct definition of myself not a witch not a devil not an UGLY WOMAN with an UGLY MIND but a MURDERER..
SERIAL KILLER..killing you every day relishing every bit of your pain and planning next step...what can hurt you more...

Oh how I hate myself..and be so sure about me..that I have ruined you destroyed you stabbed you killed you and tateo shanti nei.. I need to KILL you on a DAILY BASIS..
Its terrific.. You wont understand the joy in it.. I am feeling insanely happy..
Killing your most beloved person in your own hands..and not in one stroke..ektto ektto kore.. daily


You cant escape..coz whereever you go my double sided knife will stab you..and make sure you writhe in pain.. and the moment you try to get up I will again hurt YOU..make sure you cant move in pain..
and make sure your entire life you suffer suffer and suffer..

I am feeling very complacent...light like floating in air..Its so complacent that finally I have got the right version of me portrayed to me..that of a grotesque UGLY MURDERER

Yes she is v v innocent.. very good excellent human being..she deserves a better life..she would get..am sure of that..

But just keep in mind I was also innocent much more than her at some points in life..now turned to a KILLER of her of my love..
Only difference is she had some one called <> in her life since times not known from the very beginning..even before she realized anything she had the person whom she was made for..
She has been loved she had been cared for she had been protected by him every pasage of life and she remained innocent..

On the contrary I was like a orphaned stray human being on street who make mistakes in life..

You see those street children ..they are also as much child inside as my baby my JS..but they get to commit crimes..they smoke they take drugs they turn to killers 'coz they dont have a loving family they end up jeoparding their innocent lives even before knowing they are messing it up..unless until they meet someone who holds them with love..
End of the day they are also the same child.

No I am not jealous of her.. She deserves you..and she loves you..and am sorry I dragged her in this blog..

Just took her name coz I found the contrast of 2 similar human being born same but nurtured different!!