Good Morning My Love

You have no idea how good it feels 

To wake up every morning 

Knowing you are only mine.

Bon Ami Part 2

Little did he know that it was NOT the M of Mathematics  which was so magical in his life but the magic emanated from the same M’s which encompassed Madhavilata Monomoy and Monosiz.

Little did he know that the letter M which has manifested the magical membrane called Life in Monomoy’s otherwise solemn melancholy existence!! 

All three of them whose names started by the mercy of M  mingled in the magic of M and intrigued by the mystery of M.

********************************************************************************

The class started and ended in superfast speed as all the problems of probabilities and beyond were been discussed poignantly as if they were like elementary mathematics.Monosiz trailed back into memories of his first class as he always did.. No matter how hard he tried he could never push off the reminiscising the Day 1.

Their first class on special paper of Statistics at MHU by Madhavilata Mitra. They were all waiting for her when like a walking Diva she had entered the class in a pleated saree of fuschia  pink with white borders and took them all by awe. They have all envisaged their professor as a middle-aged most serious bespectacled intellectual woman with a no-nonsense attitude. But she was unconventional in every respect.

Starting with the saree (traditional ones are always white or cream with red/pink borders ) she wore just a reverse combination. She was middle-aged true but not grumpy and always had a dazzling smile on her lips. She was bespectacled true but from behind the frames shone a pair of very bright eyes which was impossible to ignore. (Monosiz’s first reaction was thank god those eyes are behind the bars else they would put me on incognito)

She was not beautiful by the rule book but she had something beyond beauty. And she had the most unconventional way to start her lectures and took the class off their feet the very first day.

She joined the class as if she was a part of her student and without even going into any deeper of the Statistical paper she was aimed to teach, she took the permission of the class and recited eyes closed the epic poem of Robert Frost.

Miles to Go Before I sleep.

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

The entire class has frozen in silence, and even sitting far off from her Monosiz could still see 2 tear drops hanging like pearl from her glistening eyelids behind the heavy glasses.

Composing her from some reverie Madhavilata greeted the class once more and declared in a euphoric voice that "My Statistics is like a poetry". The class was too numb to make a comment in this otherwise insane statement. 

But then she explained softly "There are millions of words around us and we are always using 100s and 1000s of them each and every minute but what is the probability of garlanding these same words into a delicate poetry"?

We all speak in the same words but we never give a thought of creating poetry in our life with all these mundane over used words that hung around our existence since the day language was born to dictate our life.

What is probability of using the same word into transforming it into avid spasms  of emotion?? How could you pronounce the same word with love or hatred care or disrespect antipathy or admiration .. We never know..because are emotions are beyond all probability and yet bound in a probability of improbable."........

So for her Statistics meant a poetry the subject which deals with the probability of improbable and possibilities of an impossible!!!!!!

The next 1 hour went off with highly mind boggling intellectual discussions of beta probability, virtualization and normalization but for Monosiz the time stopped at the Robert Frost’ lines which kept on reverberating in his mind.

The days flew and with each of her classes her euphonic voice her prolongated lectures brain teasing problems the casualness with which she solved every complex case studies her smile and her composure drove him mad. Monosiz  became more and more drawn towards her like a moth towards a candle till such times he was desperate to win her over by his grades and silently somewhere deep inside his conscience he started thanking his father for his urge to take up Statistics as his final paper. His nights and days were succumbed into more and more difficult riders and theories. There was no other way that he could draw her attention he thought "I have to top the class"!!!

The results came and yes he was shinning the top of the list proudly; his insane efforts didn’t turn him down. Monosiz couldn't sleep even for a moment tossing in bed in a statistical euphoria calculating all options of how she will greet her the class next. 

With his pounding heart barely in his rib cage Monosiz rushed to the first class of 2^nd semester and from a distance he could see M3 approaching in her own rhythmic steps casually dressed in a deep denim skirt and yellow pullover. Yes she congratulated Monosiz with candid appreciation and wished him the very best for his future performances.

But that’s it no special treatment he was just an equal with all the average students of the class. No- one special. His heart sank deep much below the nadir of disappointment.

Following semesters Monosiz had to put even more mammoth efforts to keep his grades in the top as the entire class was now motivated to master the subject and by no means Monosiz can see himself dwindling down the ladder.

He might not be special to her but he can't see himself bargaining a glimpse of irony or sarcasm in Madhavilats's eyes if he stood 2^nd. He was sure she was too polite to comment on his grades but her silence disposition would kill him the very next moment.

Times changed and perhaps because of his grades or by a chance of luck Madhavilata had become his  guide in the final semester leaving behind a hypnotic Monosiz in a rabbit hole of thoughts!! 

How to sail across the next 6 months of his life the most crucial 6 months in each and every respect.

Logic unraveled Emotions turmoiled Mystery Epitomized and Life taking its twists ad turns in its full share!!!

Bon Ami Part 1

A beautiful musical melody sung by the new generation handheld device till now sleeping snug on Monosiz’s tiny bedside table caught its owner attention as he painfully lift his one eye to check the time and his super active yet lazy mind quickly calculating the daily schedule and trying to find out if he can buy 5/10 mins of sleep.

But oooppss it was already past 7:45 and the first class at MHU starts sharp at 8:30.He can’t have the luxury of sleep not at least now with his next and most vital semester breathing too close!!!!… And suddenly it flashed to him the first class for today would be by Madam Madhavilata.

As the enigmatic name came to his mind Monosiz’s face was lit up by an angelic smile and he was pulled to his daily regime like a magnet towards a bunch of iron filings…

Every drop of his fatigue resulting of a the toughest  regime his late night research works till 3:30 AM vanished in thin air and with full jest he felt a new rejuvenating energy filling every corner of his existence. Just a fondle remembrance of a name and that’s it!!!

It changed his entire day from a daily drudgery at MHU campus to a most awaited day of his life.

Madhavilata and the name is enough to take soak like a sponge  every bit of pain from Monosiz’s body and soul.

He never got the clue what is so very magnetic about this lady in her 40’s. She was her teacher and guide in his Statistics paper just 6 months of a teacher-student bonding….

But what was so special about her why he feels like a sparrow in her aura he never really knew!!!And the attraction continued increasing manofold every hour!!!

Monosiz sworn someday he would solve this mystery he would unearth all statistical gizmos and puzzles and get to the root of this fatal attraction.

He wished against all his wishes to discuss the same with his father but it was too late. The man who was not only his father but his friend philosopher and guide has left him forever after bravely embracing a horrifying malignant death a year back.

Monosiz fought the drops of tears with all his might remembering his best friend and forced himself back to getting ready when to his utter surprise he could find atop all other array of emotions a mysterious name crowned his thoughts!! Madhavilata

Intrigued as he always was he got ready in a record time and reached his class the first of the student to be present in the class waiting more than impatiently for the mystical lady of his life M³ (as they said behind her Madam Madhavilata Mitra- Mysterious Magnetic and Memorable))

Monosiz has till date hated this subject fondly called by all Stats and hated himself and his father for taking it up as his Research Paper.. but a name could make it all.And now he eats sleeps and dreams Stats!!!

Monosiz had always wanted to become an erudite scholar of literature like his father right from his toddler days. When he has heard his dad Monomoy softly reciting him Shelley and Keats with his big dreamy eyes lost somewhere and his fondle caresses leading tiny mesmerized “Mon” as his father called him by that name to a deep blue slumber!!!

He has grown up with Keats and Shelley with Byron and Dickens with Shakesphere and Tagore and yet his father always urged him to take up Statistics the subject diametrically opposite as the course of his life.

Like always he would never ask him anything directly or impose any decision on Monosiz but one day soon after his Class X Monomoy had called his son to sit beside him and with very deep penetrating eyes murmured to him as if he was not talking to Monosiz but someone distant, with a plead in his voice whether he could sum up his living on Mathematics in future.

When the 16 yrs old youngster desperately asked his father WHY ... the aging man could vaguely point towards his son's outstanding performance in Mathematics right from his Kindergarden Days.

Monosiz protested yeling “So are my marks of A+ in English as well Dad why are you urging me to go for Maths!! You know how much I look up to you and feel like devoting my life to enrich literature”.

Monomoy was numb!!!! He simply stared with a very blank look in his handsome son’s eyes!!! The stare which stirred Monosiz inside out for the rest of his life and beyond forever ;

There was overwhelming amount of love and affection in that gaze yet an uncanny sadness which the 16 yrs old lad was not able to fathom, the pleading of a somewhere unsuccessful man.

The discussion ended there the stare made it all. Next 5 yrs saw Monosiz deep diving the ocean of Mathematics with flying colors and every success used to lit his ailing fathers eyes with a twinkle of joy which he had never ever seen.

Literature became his hobby and the interest of his soul as Mathematics became his power of excellence. Every Sunday if both were free the father and son would still read on to each other good pieces of literature which they could read over the week.but time was short and as it became shorter it sped faster and faster for both the father and the son.

He was happy with his excellent performance at his academics yet Monosiz himself  was clueless. The ease with which he  used to unscramble every algorithm and every riddle could never match the last piece of jigsaw puzzle of his father’s gesture, those looks in his big dreamy eyes and helpless desire of a father from his son!!!

Why.. What's so special in Maths!!

Since You Said

Since you said
Its a  new day ahead
A good day perhaps in your mind
As you are always right
I had to believe in its kind
Thought of letting my thoughts unwind
Home alone all by myself with my soul
I thought of giving my thoughts a sole
New dimension..no more similar posts
Something of a new shade some differnce
Which can fill my mundane moments
With some complacence!!!!

P.S Madhavilata has a memory of an elephant like another creature...I was jawdropped by her gesture.. Remind me to tell you later!!!

It Sucks

I Hate You

I hate the way you leave me alone,

I hate the way you drive our car,

I hate it when you stare.

I hate the way to carry the entire world in your bag,

And I hate the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick

It even makes me rhyme.

I hate it… I hate the way you are always calm,

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh

Even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you are not around,

and the fact that you didn’t call.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you

Not even close,

Not even a little bit

Not even at all.

Love You.

Only You

Baby,

First tell me how are you now…Physically? Did the pain subside? I wish you and me a peaceful day ahead if not an enjoyable one.

I can’t express so well in black and white like you. Hence will not be able to answer your letter with all my reaction, but need to tell you few things.

You said you are imaginary fool and I’m a very logical matured creature. You are insensitive, don’t invest for future, only try to live in the present by trying to fill the vacuum and I’m able to think about the future with clarity of mind!!!!

Today you will get to know, what is what! It has already started feeling inside me, the sturdy vacuum like a black-hole. Do you know why? Because my heart and mind it desperate to see you once again. Because it knows by now it will not be able to meet you for a day. If this is the condition in one day of separation, who would I sustain my lifetime without you? I do not have any answer. And this is human nature to panic about the unknown. I’m also not any exception. Hence very upset somewhere deep inside.

Yes, you are right. You are too good for me. You have everything in a single package that a man can desire. Brain, Beauty, Body. Heart, Mind, Soul. Intelligence, Love, Care, Capability, Curves, Creativity. Sensibility, Sensitivity, Seduction, Sex. Fertility, Naughtiness. Power. Fighter. Energetic. Down to earth. Spirited. … The list is endless. But for sure everything a man can desire from his woman. And I know you are too good for me. But these things, my mind is aware of and admits that you are too good for me. But my Heart… it is the most immature child in this world. It refuses to listen to all these too good etc. It only knows that it beats for YOU, cares for YOU, loves only YOU. My heart is not even bothered to ask the right question, does my love qualify for you? I can manage and convince my mind, but fail to put up with that immature heart.

Have you ever seen any kid, crying furiously in the middle of the road for some toys, which his father is incapable to buy? Have you observed the helplessness of that father? Who tries to convince the child with all the logics available under the sun? The toy is costly, can’t afford it… the toy is not good for health…. you have so many at home…. Why can’t you take the other one… That toy is not for sale… that toy belongs to somebody…. All logical, but unfortunately useless to bring his child back to normal. Because somewhere the child has submitted own self to that toy and they are connected Now only that toy can make him happy.

Do you know, most of the time how the father manages to bring the child to existence, back to normal? With only one promise, YOU WILL GET IT TOMORROW. And the child agrees to go back with tons of doubts in mind, but still with a ray of HOPE. That drives him back to the home, only in a hope of a better tomorrow or day after.

I was looking for that hope only, YOU WILL GET IT TOMORROW.

Not sure if I was able to express myself to you with my limited capability of written communication.

Love You, much more than these few words can express.

Only Yours

Eosin

Eosin

i abruptly disconnected ur call n vommited out everything.... not merely some digital transitions but i pucked my entire being.... my life our life which is in the comatose lifeline and a solutionless perplexed question.... imaginary fool ...such a stupid.... i merely forgot we r cancer patient merely counting days..n ur three worded sentense evolving from purest form of love n utmost care....instantly made every minute things crystal clear....we dint hav a past niether a future just counting moments of a scary hazy present...trying to reamin glued to each other every moment...which we can grab or steal the unfathomable vacuum we try to feel...i know perhaps i am too good for you and so with all my goodness will get lost in silent solitude....futile cries for you will remain unheard in the stone hard world..:: u know me better than me In every step of life...so you shudder before giving any shock to me in core...i Love you for that as well...the clarity of mind which you posses rather being cocconed in shell...i dint misunderstand you a bit...trust me dear...may be first time in life i understood crystal clear...no hope no ray to aspire...just a burning illogical immatured desire...that i cant stay without you eVer....without investing in present a directionless creature craving for a virtual future...Please forgive me for being so cruel.....unfeeling to you who has taught me how to feel... love you n would never be able to forgive me....ITS NOT YOUR DEMAND THAT IS INTRIGUING BUT THE LESS OF IT IS KILLING... NOT YOUR FORCE WHICH KEEPS ME STUCK TO YOU...BUT THE SACRIFICIAL ENDURANCE THAT KEEPS ME PUSHING TO YOU................STRANGEST THING IS THE UNCANNY GLOW ON MY FACE WHEN I STAY WITH YOU IN SPITE OF KNOWING IT FOR ONLY LIMITED DAYS AND I KNOW FOR SURE ITS ONLY FOR SOME INTANGIBLE MOMENTS...LOVE YOU N WUD KEEP ON DOING SO HERE THERE EVERYWHERE...

Love You 'Coz

1.I love because
You keep me safe in your heart
Which I myself was never smart at

2.I love you because
You fill my senses in a suffocating love
Which I now can also give to you
But was never sure I was capable of

3.I love you because
You love all my fantasies and you love the Rain
A Bohemian in Rain
You share the same feelings and run in my vein

4.I love you because
You cast an aura around me of protection always
Something which I misss every moment
And fall down the second am out of you translucence

5.I love you because
Your sensitivity fills each corner of my life
I love you because all those special moments
I have been your wife

6.I love you because
Your sense of humor and wit
Which makes my day and the candle they lit
All those gestures you unknowingly make so sweet

7.I love you because
You have seen the unseen ME
Some altar image of mine
Which had never been brought out in sunhine of beauty

8. I love you because
You have senses a confident woman in my inner self
Something which I have never felt
All your inhumane efforts in the transformation sweat

9. I love you because
Of all your array of uniquness
Which no one can ever get in 10 lifetimes of wait
I have won your heart in an effortless state

10. I love you because
You are YOU nothing more or nothing less
The most special person of the earth
With strength and sensitivity of Solomon in loving praise

I have 100000000000000000000000000000 more reasons though
To love you each day more and more and more
To love you as just as you are
The cutest lovliest babyling creature

Your kisses on my lips Enlighten my world!

The Best Feelings

The best feeling is when I look at you
and find that You are already Staring.

You are Not..

You are not the only Girl in this Universe,

But You are the only Girl who matters.

The Best Thing

Kissing you Upside Down.
Kissing you Inside Out.
Kissing you Sideways.
Kissing you Always.
Kissing you Good Morning.
Kissing you Good Night.
Kissing you Randomly.
Kissing you Thoroughly.
Kissing you in the Dark.
Kissing you under the Sun.
Kissing you in the Rain.
Kissing you to get rid of my Pain.
Kissing you in the Car.
Kissing you under the Blanket.
Kissing you.
Kissing.
You.

Is the Best thing.

I wish for You

Would wait for you for ever for I am sure
Someday someway sometime somewhere
We would be together living or dead
In this life or just the next step ahead
We will for sure meet at some points of life
'Coz in my heart of heart am your proudest wife

Would wait for you always with all what I have
'Coz its not a choice but out of my pristine love
Just a selfish reason the selfish side of me
'Coz I know else I would never be able to breathe

Without You Time pass by as I watch it freeze
My Heart is in entropy all my lifelines cease
So many things I would want you to know,
But above all without you my life can never go..

I long to be with you but not meager to hold your hand
To have your heart imbibed me in the never never land
I wish you all the peace in the world in which you have to live
But in the smallest corner of your heart I want the truth to be.

Forever secured by love sealed by care and glued in divine sandal
Protected in it my very own self which I myself dare not handle
I wish you faith in me to help define your living and your life.
More I cannot wish you except perhaps love to enrich vibe

I wish your sense of humor and the twinkle in your eye
Never separates from your self till the day you die
I cannot promise you a lifetime or even a day long date,
For we are bound elsewhere via a lifetime commitment

What I can offer to you is simply myself and me for ever
For whatever amount of time we can steal for each other
I can promise you some moments of lifetime remembrance
I wish you that what is needed for trust -the element of patience

So I wish you sadness s.t you may always better measure glee
I wish you emptiness of heart such that you are always able to see
What we fill each other with, can never be put to measure
In the enigma of life is it love or some other unreal treasure?

You make me numb when you cast that hypnotic gaze
With the eyes of emerald you pin me down in a magnetic haze
I wish you intransigence such that you appreciate cadence
I wish you glory and the strength of love to bear its burdens.

I wish you stubbornness of life so that you can be all in praise
Of Docility of Lady Love and see how its transcends
Each and every mundane pains of a barren existence
Transforming carcasses to living souls in its blessed togetherness

I wish you speechless elsewhere such that you can always talk to me
I wish you grimace at other places such with me you smile with beauty
I wish you strength of warmth when the world would prefer it cool
I wish you intelligence of love when the world would treat it fool

I'm sorry

Please forgive me for being so insensitive and agitated at the starting of the new day… Your smile, your well being and your endless love and affection for me, makes my life a LIFE… I love you with me everything… and I’ll always love you like that and more…

Reason of a colorful Season

if you feel i am beautuful..i am because you have made me feel like a princess... if you feel am gorgeous so am i because you had been the alchemist... if you feel i am hot i am one definitely coz its only in your senses and only for you in the entire world i feel like a woman... if you feel i look like a campus student its only in ur eyes who discovered the naughty witty college girl in my sensation... if you feel i be like a lil girl ...its only with you...am like a fluttering grasshopper...coz u spread ur hands for the grasshopper to play n not cage it in fist...if you feel i have a beautiful mind its true...i had one in oblivion only to be discovered n touched by you from mist...how r you?how is he? just wanted to whisper to your ears... I LOVE YOU more than anything ELSE i know of.... 

Could only say Take Care!!!

Just want to hold you tight to my breast
Try giving you a warm cuddly rest
Like my mom-side puts her baby to snore
I want to hold you snugly to me for hour
And just as the baby sleeps off without any concern
Hearing soft lullabies in an innocent notion
Till such time you immerse in a slumber
I want to hold you in my loving enclosure
You resting all the miseries and fatigue for a while
To my breast-and you reside with an angelic smile
I just wish if I could give you a deep deep sleep
It could absorb all your stress if you could keep
Your head to rest on me and I watch your face
And together I also lie down in your embrace
Putting the world with all its gruesome reality
Out of our shut doors for some moments of eternity

Am sure it could erase all your stress
And to me it would be a classic bless
Taking my life my soul in my arms
And let him rest as I behold his charms
A little love a little care with a gentle whispers
Of lovemaking softly said in your ears
Could make it all..a light self made lunch
And feeding you with my own hands
As you lie down on my lap and I insist
You for medicine and you persist
Me not to make slightest move ever
Leaving your side even if its for a glass of water
And I caress your crowning hair and implore
To take the pill and kiss you to have it before
Like a baby you finally give in and listen to me
And again holding me you take me to your side
And as we shed off every bit of inhibition
In a soothing loving overwhelming motion
And in the rainy romantic dusky afternoon
We make feathery love and sleep off soon

A panacea a paradise which I will never get
A chance to take care of my soul-mate
When he is not well I cannot rush to him
And from a distance can only silently scream
And send virtual Get Well Soon messages
Which breaks my heart in every sentence

But you just know for sure even if you are not
With me ,my heart has been given you to rent
For ever and ever and so without any reason
It cries vehemently at the mid of night when
It just feels that something is wrong somewhere
Perhaps my LIFE is not able to breathe proper
Something somewhere is just not right
And that's why the entire night I fight
I fight to sleep fight to remain awake
As in desperation I try to be united
With you someway somewhere and time sped
And I just pray you just be well in every sense
Else my parched soul will be dry and tense
Without knowing why till its YOU again
Convey me the actual reason
Of feeling so desperate and not able to rest
Just knowing my life line is not at his best!!!!