Love You So very much

I Love You so very much.. I don't know really how much!!
You are the first Love and only love of my life :: As per my theory love happens only once in lifetime else it doesn't rest of the world is made of relationship..absolutely digital..as many other bullshit theories of mine ALL or NONE
Dont ever question my love for you ..never..ami bolleo tumi korbe na..just korbe naa!!You know that I cant take anything negative words from you..
I can face all the negativeness of the entire world..,,kadteo parinaa karo samne barring you..jar jonyo loke amay witch bole je ato kichur por chokh diye jol pore naa..ki mohila re baba..
So ami jodi kono muhurte khub helpless feel kore kichu negative bolio ba you have to endure that!! You know for sure within 5 mins I will succumb..

Even jodi kokhono aksathe thaki..tokhono naa..

We never express our pains to anyone else in the world that is our genetic trait even to each other we always try to suppress our stigma of pains..
The tip of iceberg is always that the other person sees and the rest is inherently felt deep within and which we rightfully refuse to discuss..

You know ami akdom numb hoye achi..I told you over and over again..that I am so fragile and so pained that am I don't even have the power to talk/speak discuss in the fear of breaking down..

But still at times we fail to do that right ??and instead of direct confrontation like other people we are stupid to get into self inflicting pain mode.. You know this awkwardly similar trait of ours for sure and perhaps better than me.. I need not elaborate neither in any mood to do so. !!

Just 2 lines.. tumi akbaro bhable naa na j kirom kimbhut kimakar poristhite amay fele rekhe jachhoo..in every respect every step of life be it personal or official..
oto gulo harsh strong bitter kotha bole chole gele!!!
Just vanish in thin air!!


This long long week and the weekend jekhane official personal heart related mind related each and every matter I have to simply die and face alone...and also ensure things are not blown up out of proportion by whichever means such that
1.Our love is not humiliated once more in open public and
2.Other sets people who don't even matter to me have a peaceful trip..( I don't care about you so keeping you out of this loop)

And if that means at certain tiny aspects to come down to terms and keep people pacified at this end I have to I have to grit my teeth and do all these things which I would have never done at other times..

And over the entire period of time and you would be so very far off in some distant
island..simply unreachable..

I know normal days eo ba kothay pashe thako.. but there is still a difference right? atleast normal days e khub kosto hole ba problem hole ami atleast jani you are just a phone call away or some hours away..whatever it is you would ensure you would call me up and take me out of all my concerns worries pains or equally share the emotions of some rare species called happiness..no matter what..

Sobai tader kotha dukkhher kotha wish er kotha frsutrations er kotha sundar kore bolte pare..akopote..may be coz those are "legal" so..

We can't by nature also as well as per law!!
And we fail to understand each other end up hurting even more..

Just Take Care..amar matha jha jha korche... Its better you are off samne pele mere feltam!!!!